Damaged Goods

I’m damaged goods. What does it take to be whole after cancer? There are times I ask this question and wonder if I actually want to be “whole” again. Who have I become? Am I anyone remotely like the person I used to be? No, but that’s not exactly a negative.

I’m damaged, but not broken and or defeated. I hold my head higher and walk up straight, without having it in me to back down on anything. Willing to fight for myself and others, not something I would have done before.

I’m damaged and scarred, but have a bounce in my step. Sometimes smiling endlessly for no reason, just for being alive, and being able to step at all; doing things I “shouldn’t” be able to do. Doing things because I’ll never take my life or abilities for granted.

I’m damaged, but wiser than most. Seeing the future and all of its possibilities, desiring to feel and experience life to the fullest. Running when I should be grateful for walking and racing toward the future like a rocket.

I’m damaged, but a light shining brighter than the sun. Attempting to light the way of other survivors and showing that life is worth any and every fight. Blinding those that doubt and carrying those that can’t stand alone.

Yes, I’m damaged goods, but I’m better for it. Prouder, happier, wiser, and brighter than the person I used to be was. A fighter and warrior that has stood up in the face of cancer and shoved back, winning at life and reaching for the future, never to be beaten by cancer, as every survivor deserves to be.