Gently Caring…

The one thing that I enjoy doing is people watching. You can see so much of the world, if you just stop long enough to watch people and how they react to one another. I find that you see the truth of an individual’s character when you watch them when they don’t realize it and today I saw a thing of true beauty…

I went to Kroger with my mother and decided to wait in the car as she went in to pick up an item. It was silly for me to go in for what was only going to be a few minutes. As I sat there in the car, I watched a gentleman assisting a lady from their car, to her wheelchair. Now you may wonder what’s beautiful about something so simple, but I promise you that what I saw was nothing short of breathtaking.

It wasn’t merely the care that he took to assisting her to the wheelchair (and there certainly was that), but the gentleness in his expression. He helped her to the seat and even retrieved something from the trunk; the whole time with clear concern for her well-being. There also was a gentle calmness with all that he did, getting everything in order before wheeling her into the store. Never seeming “put out” for having to assist, but like a deep caring respect for his companion and simply glad to help.

We all know that this type of behavior should be something we see every day, but sadly it isn’t the case. So often people look at our senior citizens as if they’re a burden to society; when in fact, if they would slow down, these individuals would see that our older generations are a gift with so much to offer. They hold the keys to our past, with amazing stories from their lives and times we’ll never see. It only takes a little time and kindness on our parts.

We should all show the caring and kindness of this gentleman… It would make this world a much warmer and happier place. So, my challenge to you… Go out and show some kindness to a senior in your life, show them that they are important and that they are worth the effort. It will likely be something magical you get in return.

“The years teach much which the days never knew.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

40+ Ladies, Have You “Got” the Look???

Last week I was watching individuals going into a local job fair and was surprised to see how some showed up (Son, in the Motley Crue shirt, were you serious?). Generally, most of the men did okay, but some of women should put a tad more effort forth before complaining about the lack of response. I guarantee you that “Buffy” or “Muffy,” you know, the twelve year olds that you’re competing against are going to be dressed to kill. You need to have “the look” that will show that you’re a serious competitor and ready to get to work.

Having a contemporary look doesn’t mean “over the top” fashion, so keep this in mind. Dressing like a clown doesn’t help your cause, either (think “Mimi” syndrome). It also doesn’t mean that you need a small fortune to pull it off. There are some wonderful online outlets, as well as incredible consignment shops out there where you can purchase designer clothing for a fraction of retail. I’ve found eBay is wonderful for this and have purchased many designer fashions from sellers there.

Also keep a professional looking hair style and soft make up (talking to the ladies here, guy liner isn’t recommended for anyone other than a rock star). It’s not as difficult as it might feel to pull a great professional look together, just takes a little planning.

A few simple tips that go a long way:

1) Go with the classics… A classic suit can easily be accessorized with a scarf or excellent and simple jewelry.

2) Quality and style lasts, where high fashion is fleeting.

3) The right cut and a little color can completely change your look to exceptional.

4) It’s better to purchase a couple quality outfits that last than several disposable ones.

5) Wear shoes without scuffs and obvious wear.

6) Keep your makeup natural looking and understated.

Following these simple guidelines will help you present the best possible image at job fairs and interviews. It will also work wonders for your confidence!

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” Yves Saint Laurent

Do You Have All the Pieces of the Job Search Puzzle???

As with most areas in life, we want fast, easy solutions when it comes to our job search and far too often get frustrated when it just doesn’t work out that way. Some want to believe that having the perfect resume is the solution and I’m here to tell you that your resume is only a part of the puzzle to finding a job in this economy.

The Resume:
I find that most of the time client resumes aren’t worded horribly and generally just need to be tweaked and reformatted to be more reader/scanner friendly. Making it more eye-catching, when it actually reaches human hands… BUT even with the most beautiful resume with all the magic keywords, you have to understand that depending on the field you’re in, you could still be looking at an uphill battle.

Personal Marketing:
Personal marketing can assist, so dust off that suit and hand-deliver those resumes where you can; it makes an impression and shows you to be a serious job searcher. It may feel awkward at first, but gets easier the more you do it. This is especially effective in medical/administrative/paralegal fields because they are general smaller offices and you could actually get in the door before the ad hits the job boards/papers.

The Reality:
Sadly, there are some fields that are simply either too far gone or a long way from recovering. Take home-building, it’s going to be a very long time before we honestly see a noticeable improvement and I don’t know that we’ll ever see it completely recover to the level it was (and that may well be a good thing). When there are situations like this, change is necessary, as difficult as it may be. Consider taking evening classes in an area that is showing growth or if possible look at going back to school for a whole new profession.

Time:
Imagine putting full-time hours into a job search… The results would be remarkable, but what’s the likelihood that is what can be done? The important factor is that you put in as many hours as possible. It takes research, numerous submissions, networking, practicing for interviews, and aggressive personal marketing to make noticeable progress and that, my friend, takes time.

Attitude:
There’s also the issue of attitude… I know that when you’ve been out of work for a while and not having luck finding work, it’s hard to be upbeat, but I’m also seeing clients that are their own worst enemy with a victim mentality that you sense the instant you talk to them. You MUST get past this to have any hope of finding a job! It doesn’t help anything and could very well be holding you back.

Networking:
You need to also get out there and network, meet people, make friends and market yourself. You can’t do this sitting at home. If you want to make things happen you need to get out there and MAKE THEM HAPPEN! Sitting around waiting by the phone isn’t going to find you a job. It truly is “who you know” sometimes that makes the difference.

Image:
This next area is not always a popular one to hear about, but it matters… What is the image that you’re presenting? Do you present a professional image and one that any company should want to have onboard? When you interview wear quality suits, keep a current and polished hair style (quirky doesn’t help in this area, think before you have them cut), and take care of your health and body. First impressions are so important and every detail needs to be considered. So now isn’t a good time to sit around feeling sorry for yourself, eating pint after pint of ice cream.

These are all pieces of the puzzle to having a successful job search and when they come together, it can make the difference between being out of work a few weeks or a few months. Consider the whole picture and not just a facet or two… It truly makes a difference.

All the so-called “secrets of success” will not work unless you do. ~Author Unknown

Safe Distances…

Let me begin by saying that this isn’t my typical piece and likely not one meant for anyone to read, but since I don’t use this blog much and hopefully those that follow are too busy to read it (don’t worry I wouldn’t be offended). It’s just that with the events of the past week, as a writer, I need to release a bit. Feel free to find something more interesting to do or read…

This week has likely been one of the worst in my life (even worse than the week I was diagnosed with cancer, if you can believe that). I’ve been threatened and scolded for actions I was innocent of and I lost my best friend to cancer. The first two seemed so important, until I awoke yesterday to the news that the one person I’ve ever completely let into my life and trusted was gone. As much as I should have seen it coming, I was determined that she’d win this battle. I refused to believe anything other than remission was possible… I know it was stupid and naïve, but sometimes I can be that way.

As a whole I’m the kind of person, comfortable with keeping everyone at arm’s length. Loving in my own way, but never giving up control of my life and my heart, this is even true with family. I learned a very long time ago that being a private person is safe and the best way to live my life. Even though I write daily, there is little I give away about my personal life and deepest feelings. Trust me; I’m much more likable reaching out, helping people, and being the ditzy goofball everyone knows.

But I digress… This incredible woman got to me. She became my closest friend, a second mother and true confidant. Knowing me, really KNOWING me and liking me anyhow. There was no way I could have survived the emotional side of cancer and likely cancer itself without her. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed with many, many friends, but and I will NEVER let anyone get that close again. Feeling this is by no means worth it and I certainly don’t want anyone else to ever feel it for me.

She is why I’m on my career path and why I want to help as many people as I can possibly help in this lifetime, but it will be at a safe distance. Some of us do better as solitary individuals, loving from a distance. When you live like that it doesn’t matter if people love you back, you don’t need it to be happy. Because of her, I’m going to change the world… One way or the other.

Again, this was more or less written to vent to myself and hope I didn’t offend anyone… Life goes on and I promised her that I’d get this particular book written, but never got the chance to tell her that she’s going to be the inspiration for not one, but three and all three will be dedicated to the most amazing individual I have ever been honored to know.

Lana, know that you will always be loved and missed by so many. There will never be a day that goes by that I won’t think of you and remember how much you brightened this world.


“When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves.” ~Eda LeShan

Pardon???

Now tell me, if someone told you that you had Liposarcoma… Wouldn’t you be scratching your head, wondering what the heck they were talking about? I KNOW, ME TOO! Shoot, it sounds more like something that you pay to have done, than something that you get diagnosed with! Throw in the fact that I was diagnosed on Friday the 13^th and you have the makings of some twisted joke. Yep, that’s my life!

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a pleasant period of my life, but looking back I see the humor (I’m really sick and twisted that way). From the argument with the OR nurse that included the whole head bobbing thing that I mock others for doing, to walking around with the ability to make water spray from my leg and actually saying that “I’m fine.” Yeah, I was an idiot, but a cute and entertaining one!

So when life seems bleak and without a boatload of hope, remember you can go further than you believe and when you look back, there will be moments that will make you smile. If I can do it, anyone can.

“Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.” ~Author Unknown

Let's Get Chaotic!

There are some pretty amazing cancer survivors out there. They go through their treatment with grace and style; courageous throughout… Get over that, that’s not me. I was all about insanity, banging head against the wall crazy… Yeah, that was me (as I curtsy semi-gracefully).

Through cancer we learn that it isn’t necessarily how well we survive, just that we DO survive. You can do it with style, making it look easy or again, like I did it and get chaotic… Hey, it’s okay! You just do it and when all is said and done, know you did your best. Sometimes just finding a little humor in the situation can help.

Here are just a few of the fun Chaotic Lessons cancer offers:

Radiation “Perks UP” muscles in areas that are zapped.

During rads, it pulls fluid out of the tissue that it’s making toasty and this creates some entertaining after effects. I had a seriously pumped up looking calf and from what I hear, other nifty areas get “perky” too.

The music they play when you’re stuck in a MRI machine is NEVER loud enough to cover the trash can banging sound.

I don’t care where I’ve had it done, no matter how much you tell them to “crank” it up, it ain’t going to do it. Oh yes, their radio stations are generally lame also.

A doctor with a wicked sense of humor can make some of creepiest procedures fun (yes, I said fun).

Even having something like a PICC line installed… Let me explain PICC line. When you have a severe infection and need to be on heavy hitting antibiotics for a length of time this line is installed in your arm and ran through increasingly larger veins over to your heart. When installing it they are X-raying you to see that it’s going where it needs to go. When lying on your back you can see it going by your beating heart…. Creepy, huh? Now toss it a comedian of a doctor telling cooky stories and it actually can turn into a game. Normal people don’t usually get this, but once you have cancer, your sense of humor gets a bit twisted.

Getting creative with explanations about obvious scars makes it easier to deal with.

Okay, this is a true example of a twisted sense of humor, but when you can’t hide it or refuse to become an artist. Liposarcoma left me with a nifty scar on my right leg and in the beginning it deeply bothered me, but after a couple of times of saying that it was a shark bite from the rare Fresh Water Great Lake Great White and enjoying the look, my point of view changed. It’s all a matter of how you look at it.

Cancer is a terrible disease and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but if you’ve got to go through it, get a little crazy, find the humor, and you just might kick it’s tail.

Have fun, get chaotic and be well…

Oh yes, the picture was chosen because he made me laugh! ;o)

How to Be a Superhero…

These days it seems like everyone is looking for a reason to argue over anything and everything. Looking for reasons to sue one another, debate issues where there are none, and or creating new ways to get angry. We also wonder why our lives are so stressful and unhappy. What amazes me is that so few seem to consider that a little kindness would not only make others see them as a hero, but they would be a hero to themselves and their health.

When we do the little things like smiling at a stranger (not in a strange way, people) or helping someone in need, it makes others feel good, but more importantly it improves how we feel. The key is not to look for something in return and then we’ll never be disappointed.

We never know what the other guy is going through or what load he is carrying, you may be the only person between him and giving up. You may never know what that smile did for that person or what a small act of kindness meant, but that’s not what counts… What counts is that you did it to begin with.

There are more ways to be a hero to someone than I can ever suggest, but here are some ideas to get started with:

1) When someone has had surgery and you’re dropping off food, stay and visit some. If they don’t feel up to it they’ll let you know, but so often people just drop the food and leave. Recovering or going through treatment can be a long and lonely process and the visit could be “gold” to that person.

2) Know your neighbors, not just their names. No one seems to take the time to get to know their neighbors and it’s a sad statement to how society has changed. Once upon a time, people had block parties and neighbors were friends, not strangers. When someone moves in, introduce yourself, take them some cookies, and offer a kind welcome. You could be meeting your next best friend.

3) Care for the elderly… We have such a growing number of them and so often they are ignored. A proud lot, they rarely ask for help and often can use it. The stories they have to offer and wisdom can be worth gold, if you take the time to listen and care.

4) Be the extended family to friends and families that don’t have this… Care and offer a hand.

This is just a handful of ways to make a difference and be a hero to those around us. The world moves so fast and lives are filled with so much “stuff” people are forgetting the little things and the “little things” matter more than most realize.

Get out there and be a superhero… We are the only way to make a difference and change the world. We just might have fun in the process.

Have a wonderful week!

“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” ~ William James

How Not to End Up Chum on the Job after 40

Have you ever noticed how once you hit 40 (or it seems so to some), there are young vicious sharks swimming around your desk at work? They act like friends, but you just KNOW that they are circling and waiting to have you for lunch. I’d like to give you a few tips on how to keep the sharks at bay…

1. Never and I mean NEVER use the word “old” to describe yourself. Good grief, if you’re not 80 you’re not old to begin with and need slapped upside the head just for saying it. Saying that you’re getting old is like opening a wound and dripping blood in the water. Stop it!

2. Feeling squishy and slow among your 12 year old coworkers? Let me break it to you… Watching American Idol while eating chips and playing couch potato isn’t going to advance you career, only your waist. Get up off your butt and get active.

3. And if you “try” to get active and suddenly EVERYTHING hurts… Get over it! It will! I don’t know how many people give up after the first time they exercise simply because it hurts. Reality check, it’s going to hurt! Don’t overdo it, but come on don’t mosey through the neighborhood without breaking a sweat and call that enough. Sweat, baby, sweat!

4. When you do exercise, listen to something upbeat. Smooth jazz may keep you from getting violent on the drive home, but goodness it will do NOTHING for a workout. Think of it this way, if the music can cause your pulse to pick up just listening or watching the video, imagine what it can do for a workout.

5. Another “don’t” is the constant complaining about the younger workers… It makes you look like the curmudgeon of the office and like you should be saying something like “When I was a kid, we walked 10 miles to school, uphill, both ways.” I’m sure that they are difficult to converse with, but goodness, let’s not date ourselves.

6. Understand that you should be at the top of your game and you’re never too old to take classes and seek professional development. The only way to stay on top is to be a continuous student.

7. Be active in your community and make a difference in lives. There’s a much bigger world than just the only you live in. Look out for more than just you and your own. This not only makes you a role model to your fellow workers, but your kids, as well.

8. And finally… Learn to have fun and play as hard as you work. Stop making excuses, enjoy life. It will make work even better and you never know, you might just have something to talk about with your younger coworkers.

Follow these guidelines and not only will you stand a chance with the sharks, but you might just become a force to be reckoned with (instead of sleeping with the fishes).

“How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?” ~ Satchel Paige

Fear, It’s Not Just for Kids Anymore…

Last night was a “scare fest” in our home and I have to admit that this time I met my match in movies. We watched “Paranormal Activity” and it scared the “begeebers” out of me! I slept, but not without having parts of the movie coming to mind when I awoke during the night.

For those that haven’t been on planet Earth for the past year or so, let me explain the movie a tad… A couple starts filming the events and nights, to investigate what’s making it difficult for them to sleep (giving all new meaning to “going ‘bump’ in the night”). It’s filmed just as if it were them doing all of the filming with a handheld camera.

When it comes to whether a person likes or hates the movie, there is no middle ground. You either believe in such possibilities and were terrified or you think it’s all bunk and that it’s the dumbest movie you’ve ever seen.

Some may have issues with how it’s filmed, but if you give it a chance (and believe in such things), you’ll be drawn in and find yourself watching as if you were looking for a REAL spirit. I kept reminding myself that it was a movie and still found myself looking hard to see what was happening next.

I admit it; I’m a ghost hunting geek, with an addiction to investigating equipment, reading stories of hauntings, and everything to do with The Myrtles Plantation (highly recognized for its ghosts). So, this movie freaked me out in a big way.

These movies make us feel like a kid, again… Clenching a pillow and holding our breath, knowing “something” is about to happen. Leaving enough to the imagination for it to run wild and drag us along for the ride. Remember watching movies in the dark and being afraid to put your feet on the floor because of what “might” grab you??? Oh wait, that was just last night and if you watched it… YOU KNOW WHY!

Never stop doing these silly little things, like watching horror movies, just to see how scared you get. It’s great way to feel alive and especially fun sharing these moments with your older kids (make sure the movies are age appropriate). They get an added kick out of seeing their OLD parents just as scared as they are. Oh yes and this October 22nd Paranormal Activity 2 comes out… Brace yourself!

For those interested:

Site and Trailers: http://www.paranormalactivity-movie.com/

The Myrtles Plantation: http://www.myrtlesplantation.com/

“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” ~Chili Davis

Ants, Bees, and Cockroaches… Not What You Think.

Now before I get started I’m going to apologize because I know that some are going to be offended and that’s not what this is about… Each category has its advantages or some will see that there are advantages. There is no “right” or “wrong” group, I’m just making an observation.

When I refer to ants, bees, and cockroaches, it’s in reference to types of working individuals. How they look at their jobs and how they react to work situations. Again, there’s not really a wrong type of thinking, but realizing that your type can change may make a difference in how you look at your job.

Let me begin with the ants… They are often wearing a suit and following the money. There are advantages in the sense that it’s often highly respected positions (or so it was before Bernie made his appearance) and living the highlife. It works well until the bottom falls out. Remember the scene in “Bug’s Life” where the ants are marching in a line and a leaf/twig falls in front of the ant and he freaks out because he has no idea of where to go because his path is blocked??? When the bubble burst these individuals absolutely lost it. All their plans were planned according to following the money and now the money was gone, as were the opportunities.

Another downside to the “ant” mentality is the long-term health issues from the stress. These are some of the most stressful jobs out there and that doesn’t even touch the fact that they often miss a great deal of family time just trying to keep up with the job. Even those that live for the fast paced life need to go the extra mile to care for their health.

Then we have those dependable bees… Busting their butts and never afraid of the work, but often not getting the credit that they deserve (with that Queen Bee taking all the credit). The plus to being one of these rough and tumble workers is that they can almost always find a job.

The downside to being a bee is that recognition is rare and to earn a solid living takes a boatload of hours and work. The likelihood of becoming a young millionaire is slim, as is the likelihood of early retirement, but some can live with that and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Now our last little group, of which I’m proud to be a part of… The plucky cockroach. Yes, I AM a cockroach and I’m proud of it! Does that make you squirm? Nah, don’t be, I’m okay with it and soon you’ll see why… They can drop a nuclear bomb on us and we’ll still charge forward and likely even do it with a smile (which has been known to annoy many).

We cockroaches will create our own jobs when there are none and try to help others find what makes them happy, too. Some live on less and some live with more, but regardless we live with a smile. We march to the beat of a VERY different drummer and many, if not most are fairly certain we’re out of our minds, but again, we’re fine with that.

Cockroaches don’t think of retirement because we love what we do and isn’t that what really matters? Isn’t that what we all should do?

If you aren’t happy or satisfied with your job, shouldn’t you look at options? Nothing is forever and situations change. Maybe you can’t follow your heart right now, but you CAN start planning for when you can. Having a plan is a huge part of the battle. Creating a plan also gives you hope, gives you something to look forward to, and THAT is important.

So today, think about where you want to be personally and professionally in the next year, five years or even ten years… Sit down and write down what you want to do and start researching your possibilities. There’s unlimited information online, dive in and look around. See where your future begins and stop just doing a job, start having a career that you love…

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

Airplanes, Obesity & the Opinions of Idiots…

First of all, those that know me know I’m not big on cursing and swearing over issues. It’s a poor use of the English language and there’s so many better ways of expressing oneself. That being said, there are those rare moments when I get pushed across a line on some issues and THAT has happened this week… I’m sorry in advance…

As much as I like Kevin Smith for movies like Catch and Release (Yeah, I liked it… Get over it) and Jersey Girl, I’m not a follower of celebrities. Sorry Kevin (like he’d even read this… Hahaha), but this piece isn’t about you; it’s about the fools that have been writing and giving opinions on you and obesity when they have never personally dealt with it. Those of you that have been doing this… Shut up! Shut the HELL up! You have no right to an opinion on the matter!

As someone that has run the gamut with their weight, from obese to a splurge and purge fanatic, I can tell you that dealing with weight issues isn’t easy for everyone. Some of us can gain weight by simply looking at a doughnut and we will ALWAYS struggle with the numbers on the scales. We need to run twice as far to make a difference and we know all too well what it’s like to starve ourselves to make ourselves “look” like we think (and clearly some of you think) we should look like.

It’s all too easy for someone that has never had an issue with their weight to go off and give cruel, know it all comments on the matter (welcome to Jr. High all over again) and bash on everyone that isn’t built like a toothpick. These are the same people that discriminate against those with a weight issue because they aren’t built like “Barbie or Ken” and oh yes, we ALL KNOW you do it! You need to remember that karma is a bitch and going to bite you on the butt one day, to the rest of the world’s joy.

I’ve stopped following a few blogs and people over this issue and know I’m not alone in this matter. You all may be loud, but there are far more like me that care and are going to put our foot down. Remember what your mom should have clearly said more often… If you can’t say anything nice about a particular individual, don’t say anything at all. The rest of us are watching, reading, and care.


“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~Thomas à Kempis, Imitation of Christ, c.1420

What Have You Done Good For You Lately???

With Valentine’s Day we think of what we can do to show others that we love them, but we equally need to show ourselves a little “love.” This is the only body you’ve got and you need to at least attempt to care for it, for the long run.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a world class ice cream junkie that rambled on about Cherry Cordial and cracked up my surgeon all the way to surgery once the old “happy juice” was added to my I.V. and won’t likely ever live down some of what I said, but I digress… One cannot live by ice cream alone.

We need to be aware of labels, ingredients, and what our bodies do/don’t need. Just being aware of how certain ingredients affect the body can cause you to think twice about taking them in. Some of us have an issue with sodium and processed foods, while others may need to consider how dairy works with their bodies. Everyone is different and we all need to eat healthy, but we all have areas that are more critical than others and we need to try to avoid those that clearly do more harm than good.

Besides eating and being aware of what you’re eating, you also need to make exercise a priority. If you get enough exercise, most other areas of your health will fall into place naturally. For me, it’s running and boxing, but you may have different preferences. Some like hiking, biking, or going out on ATVs… It doesn’t matter as long as you get up and get out there.

These long winter days make it more difficult to get out and do the activities we love and need, but spring is coming and soon we’ll be back out there kicking up our heels. Don’t use winter as an excuse to sit on your duff, watching American Idol and munching junk food. Get up and get moving, whether it’s just going for a walk or playing with the kids in the snow. Your body will thank you.

Beyond this you need to know when to rest and when to play. Life isn’t all about work. Find time for play, to rest and renew, even if you literally need to schedule it. It can make the world look like a much brighter place and you need that for sanity’s sake. Even adults need to play, schedule it…. Doctor’s orders (okay, I’m not a doctor, but I still order it!).

While all of this is just the beginning of taking care of that body you were given, it’s a good start. I intend to hang around for at least a hundred years wreaking havoc and hopefully, with a little moderation and fun, I’ll pull it off… Join me!

“Fresh air impoverishes the doctor.” ~ Danish Proverb